Tag: faux non-fiction

Ritual of Paint

The ritual began with paint.

Smeared across the eyes, across the lips, exaggerating the features, exaggerating the magic.

Then a nose to draw the eye: look here. Look at me. A mind-snare, but with a gentle purpose.

The rest varied: there might be hair, feather-fine and rainbow-hued. There might be shoes like flippers for land, to give the agility to fall *just* so.

But always, the paint and the nose.

Look at me.

It was a spell to fill a heart with laughter.

Another microfiction for Mastodon. Image by Ulrike Leone from Pixabay.… Read more

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5 Types of Household Ghosts

In support of the kickstarter for BOOKS & BONE (which funded! EEK!) I did a series of faux non-fiction toots on Mastodon detailing ghost research. Hopefully you’ll enjoy it!


5 Types of Household Ghosts

1. When you sneeze and nobody is there to say ‘bless you’, this ghost appears. It is a small, shy ghost that jumps at loud noises. It likes to play with your cat, who can see it, and it tickles your dog while they sleep.

It doesn’t usually remain for more than a few hours, but will usually tidy something away before it goes.


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10 Ways to Befriend a Necromancer

In support of the kickstarter for BOOKS & BONE, I did a fun little mock self-help guide to befriending a necromancer.

10 Ways to Befriend a Necromancer


How to Make Friends and Reanimate People


  1. Remember that for all their bluster, necromancers have very low self-esteem and appreciate compliments. A great opener is to comment on their robes — practical AND stylish, and the black hides blood stains perfectly.
  2. Necromancers are bad at small talk but passionate about their craft. Ask them about their method of reanimation or preferred source of “materials” to open up a dialogue.
  3. Much the way people talk about what they would do if they won the lottery, necromancers love to talk about their plan for world domination.
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